Tales from the revolution

July 25, 2005

As one
watches events in Venezuela,
one can’t help but wonder what these revolutionaries have in their minds.
Politics and the show of politics seem to be the daily priorities. Let someone
else handle reality. Let someone else do the work they are supposed to do. But
the revolution only cares about revolutionary issues. Important issues such as:


Telesur:
What a great idea. Since after seven years the Government’s TV station VTV is
so crappy that less than 2% of the Venezuelan people watch it, why don’t we
start an international TV channel. This way, we can do it right, much like
fixing the local hospitals by bypassing them and starting Barrio Adentro. To
make sure that Telesur will have a truly independent Editorial line, we will
name the Minister of Communications as its first President. Since the whole
thing is very improvised, just like the revolution, for the first year, we will
only transmit for four hours a day. That sure should capture viewers, who will
be wondering what wonderful revolutionary ideas we will be broadcasting in
those four hours. With Telesur we should be able to export the revolution. We
can broadcast about the ineptitude of the revolution, or the ruin that Castro
turned Cuba into, and if we have nothing to show, hey, we can have Chavez hold
a six or seven hour monologue that will make any Latin Saturday variety show
seem very boring compared with his wisdom, his poetry, his insults and his
music. Hey! Maybe we can talk to Osama and have them send some videos that we
can broadcast where they take responsibility for some terrorist act. That
should really piss off Bush!

Renaming Caracas: Caracas is buried in garbage, but the real
problem is that it has an oligarchic name. Before we can fix that (the garbage)
we should really stop celebrating the anniversary of the city and look
carefully into who really founded the city. All those guys that wrote whole
books about the history of Caracas
did not really do a proper job. How can they be sure it was founded on July
25d.? Maybe if we spend some money on daily ads in the local newspapers,
someone will come forward with some information. After all, Caracas was only the name of the tribe that
was here before the Spanish arrived. Maybe we can have a contest and have
“the people” choose the best name for the city, before the idea from
Ibsen Martinez of naming it 10 30 Latitude North, 66 56 Longitude
West really catches on. Yeah, we better hurry up; imagine if they begin calling
it Kennedy or something like that.

No more exports: Let’s promote national industry, thus, rather than export
steel to multinationals; we will simply sell it at a cheaper price to
local companies. And if we can’t sell it all, we could even lower the price
further. Imagine how that would develop local industry. We could have a boom!
We could even give it away. Hey! Now that I am Minister of Basic Industries I
am having great ideas. It’s a pity I have no formal training on any of this.
Maybe I should talk to Ramirez and convince him that we should not export oil
either. I bet if we give it all away locally, we could really get people to use
the steel at the same time. Hey! We could even do the same with meat. What? We
import meat? So? Oh! We need the money from the oil to pay the meat. Never mind

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