Archive for June 2nd, 2009

The mystery of Chavez’ dissapearance explained…or was it?

June 2, 2009

So revolutionary and counter revolutionary la-la-land exhaled a collective sigh of relief when the four day disappearance of the Dictator was finally explained. Simple, the CIA and an 81 year old man had cooked up a very precise plot to launch a rocket against the Cubana de Aviacion plane that was to take him to El Salvador.

But wait! Why did he not show up for four days? Why did he concede defeat in his quest for his four day Alo Presidente Marathon? Come on! Even the Guinness Book people were here in Caracas to monitor Chavez beat Fidel’s record. Oh! Could that be it?

But how does the rocket plot explain the four day hiatus?

And since we are talking about the rocket, why did Maduro say it was Alejandro Peña Esclusa and now Chavez says it was the CIA and Luis Posada Capriles? You have to give credit to the CIA, in this era of gadgets and technology, they went with an octogenarian with experience. That’s what’s called an equal opportunity employer.

I imagine when you want to shoot down a plane with a rocket like that, those that want to do the shooting (and get paid for it), do like when Chavez asks Wall Street investment banks to give him proposals for new bond issues: They come one after the other with fancy notebooks and presentations and the best proposal wins.

I can imagine Posada showing up like Giordani, with his viewgraphs written with indelible ink, no colors, and everyone at the CIA scrambling to find a viewgraph projector. But then Posada gave a kick-ass presentation and some jerk at the CIA who is getting fired today gave him the green light.

I also wonder if Posada himself was going to hold and aim the rocket launcher. It’s been pretty hot down in Maiquetia these days, just ask Wolfram. Why didn’t they use Jack Bauer? He could have come up with twelve working plots in 24 hours.

And you have to accept that Barack and Hillary are quite devious, no? They played the nice guys in Trinidad, while at the same time they were giving the CIA the green light to go kill Hugo. Truly amazing how sneaky these democrats have turned out to be. I wonder if Bill  knew about it. Or Monica, for that matter.

But the only thing I don’t understand is why Maduro said it was Peña Esclusa. I guess Maduro is very patriotic and preferred a Venezuelan-made plot versus this highly sophisticated US-rocket launcher-including-octogenarian plot.

So now we can all sleep assured that Chavez is protected from the malevolous Empire and that the revolutionary Government keeps the population informed at every step of Chavez’ whereabouts with the transparency that characterizes other Dictatorships/Autocracies. I mean, where is Fidel? Where is Kim Il-Sung?

But we know where our Hugo is and was…

Or did we?

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