You Know Crime Is A Problem In Venezuela when You Can Buy An Anti-Kalashnikov Door For Your Home

January 23, 2012

I was a little shocked by this ad in yesterday’s El Universal of a company touting a door for your home that is claimed to be “Anti-Kalashnikov”. When companies play with peoples’ fears this way, you know we have a very serious crime problem. (I mean, can’t they open a hole through the wall next to the door with the same rifle?). I understand most armored cars in Caracas can not stop the bullets of an AK-47 Kalashnikov rifle, but if you are worried, you can shield your home from them now.

Another sign of progress brought to you by the Bolivarian revolution.

Thanks Hugo, we really needed that factory!

14 Responses to “You Know Crime Is A Problem In Venezuela when You Can Buy An Anti-Kalashnikov Door For Your Home”

  1. Luis Peña Says:

    We really have a security problem that has worsened in the last years but there is nothing new under the sun. I remember when Mul-t-lock launched its product they sold it announcing that it was used in Israel and could resist anything. Funny thing that was for an armoured door, most of the public just bough the locking mechanism.
    I guess they are trying to sell the idea that a tug won´t be entering your home by just putting a bullet to the door like they do in the movies. A wall on the other hand would require a lot more bullets. Windows are a different story.
    I guess that once you start thinking in security in this manner you fall in a vicious circle: First the door, then the windows, the walls and a panic room.
    Sad, sad, very sad indeed when you start thinking about expending in you house to feel safe and i feel sorrier for the people that have to face those guns face to face or just separated by a wooden wall

  2. Andres F Says:

    Wow, I wonder how many they sell..

  3. Carolina Says:

    Any regular guy with a sledgehammer will open a hole in a regular wall in three minutes. No need to do it with a kalashnikov.

    • IvoSan Says:

      With a sledgehammer You can actually steal that AK-47 door.

    • CharlesC Says:

      You remind me of a former landlady-I rented from. She decided to “remodel”
      the bathroom at 3am. with a sledgehammer (her husband was away on
      a “business trip” to Vegas…)
      P.S. Don’t forget to wear safety glasses…

    • megaescualidus Says:

      They (the door vendor) are probably marketing it for whenever it is that the Tupamaros and other paramilitary groups owning many Kalashnikovs do come out, when things get “color de hormiga” for the PSUV after HC (HC gone, 6ft under, from his current illness).

    • Lia Says:

      The people whose ads are directed to are middle to middle-high class, who tend to live in apartment buildings. They aren’t that fearful of the sledhammer as they are of the Tupamaros (and similars) crew, or of any armed choro coming to invade their home.
      Not to say that any regular robber targeting these people can get the sledhammer route, but it’s very impractical to do that in a appatment building. You know, the neigbours, the comnserje, etc., etc.. To the regular choro, is easier to just ambush the homeowners or their maid, fore their way into the place, pillage it and escape before they react in any way. And they can do that without more sophisticated than a machete.

  4. Syd Says:

    is it my imagination, but is there an embossed pattern resembling a grenade, on the surface of the door?

    • Mike Says:

      Syd,
      What see is either cheap smeared newspaper ink on the upside of the page, or print bleeding through from the back of the page printed on cheap slightly transparent newspaper paper.

    • m_astera Says:

      The embossed pattern is meant to look like fancy raised panel work, like on a wooden door. But you are right, placed next to a Kalashnikov, it resembles half a grenade.

  5. CharlesC Says:

    We are all guilty of not taking things seriously enough. “we fiddle while Rome burns”
    Nobody even tries to stop the Chavez-driven wrecking machine..

  6. CharlesC Says:

    .”The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win – and cheat if necessary.”


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