The Devil's Excrement

Reader Deanna took a stab at translating Laureano Marquez’ article in Tal Cual which is here in Spanish (see previous post), not bad at all!. Thanks! For those that don’t speak Spanish, here it is:

Venezuela without Esteban by Laureano Marquez in Tal Cual

A Venezuela without Esteban is difficult to imagine, but all the scientists agree in pointing out that the day when the President will leave the government is nearer everyday and they have made a documentary for the History Channel which will relate how Venezuela will be when the Head of State is no longer…

…FIRST DAY WITHOUT ESTEBAN: People can’t really believe it and they begin to live in a state of confusión.  Pro-former government armed groups destroy all that’s left of the country (which fortunately was very Little)…

Some who are already completely crazy continue applauding in Miraflores  and screaming UH AH…Martha Colomina and Miguel Angel Rodriguez take the plaza Bolivar with a group of motorcyclists and surround Lina Ron…Venevision declares itself furiously anti-Chavez.

…FIRST MONTH WITHOUT ESTEBAN: Some people have not reacted yet, thinking that he will return at any moment.  People stop buying dollars like crazy.  Most of the militant members of PSUV say that they never imagined that the government did all those atrocities that were beginning to be uncovered and that they didn’t know…Humanitarian aid arrives in the country…

…SIX MONTHS WITHOUT ESTEBAN: …Nicaragua and Cuba claim their monthly allowances before the Court of The Have.  The first investors arrive in the country.  The Chavista deputies begin to notice that the laws they had approved are really antidemocratic because now they are being applied to them, and they contribute in the effort to change them.  All the political prisoners who had been judged arbitrarily or detained without trial are now free.  Esteban continues living in Cuba with the excuse that without him “in Venezuela no one lives” and tries singing in the Tropicana.

…TEN YEARS WITHOUT ESTEBAN:…The first signs of economic reactivation begin to appear.  There are now foreign investors with more confidence.  Venezuela’s international image begins to improve and after two periods of political alternability without trouble, the people begin to believe in the solidity of democracy.  Venezuelans who left the country during  the government of Esteban begin to return “en masse” attracted by this good international image and by the reform of social security which guarantees a decent health system for all citizens.  Sugar can again be found in the supermarkets.

… …TWENTY YEARS WITHOUT ESTEBAN:…Fidel Castro dies officially and Raul asks Esteban to leave Cuba.  Esteban returns to the country.  Jose Vicente Rangel denounces in his Sunday program the corruption of his government and gives the names of those who bécame rich except one.  The ex-president goes for an audition in Venevision to lead Sabado Sensacional, which to this day is still without a Master of Ceremonies, but the channel portrays him negatively (¿)(le pinta una del tamaño de la colina) and denounces the atrocities of his government and the repugnant complicity of some people.  Esteban dedicates himself to the family estates in Barinas, in the middle of constant protests from his workers for better salaries and capitalist exploitation.

…ONE HUNDRED YEARS WITHOUT ESTEBAN:…The end of the Venezuelan 20^th century and the beginning of the 21^st is now only a bad memory.  The period is studied as an example of what should not be done with a country.  Many historians say that Venezuela entered the 21^st century when Esteban lost his power.  People are surprised to see the videos of how he ruled the country, how he treated the citizens and his own ministers.  Many believe that it is a joke from the oldest comic show of Venezuelan television, Radio Rochela, which is again on the air in open telepathic signal.

The ex-president goes for an audition in Venevision to lead Sabado Sensacional, which to this day is still without a Master of Ceremonies, but the channel portrays him negatively (¿)(le pinta una del tamaño de la colina) and denounces the atrocities of his government and the repugnant complicity of some people.  Esteban dedicates himself to the family estates in Barinas, in the middle of constant protests from his workers for better salaries and capitalist exploitation.

This entry was posted on January 29, 2010 at 9:55 pm and is filed under Venezuela.